Because I am anal retentive and I would slash my wrists (Up and down the street, not across!) if I came home from vacation to a dirty house, I cleaned. I cleaned like a mad woman. For the most part, when I get my panties in a wad and start cleaning like I did, the cats know to hide. Rufus decided that today he would be a brave cat. He would "help."
It started with the vacuum. Most normal cats have an ungodly fear of the vacuum, not Rufus. I imagine Simba in The Lion King, "I laugh in the face of danger. Hahaha." Rufus frolicked around my feet as I, in turn, did my best to not get the cord up in the vacuum as this is a one way ticket to broken belt city. Finally, I finished this task without any casualties. I emptied the canister (who came up with this bagless crap? Now I have to stick my arm up there and pull out the cat hair). I managed to clean the bathtub without much interference from my furry friend. Then, I tackled the kitchen floor.
As I swept the kitchen floor, no small task as my kitchen is rather large, I noticed an orange figure lurking in my peripheral vision. Then...whap! Rufus attacked the broom and its accompanying dirt pile. Cat fur, litter, and other dirty bits of my life scattered. I scolded Rufus and swept him out of the way. I quickly corralled the crud and swept it into the trash can. I continued to sweep as I fended off my antagonist. Rufus seemed to lose interest as I pulled out my sudsy bucket of Pine Sol and Libbman Wonder Mop. I finished mopping in the laundry room and set the cat litter box on the floor. I continued to mop my way out into the kitchen I saw my big orange cat head towards the litter box. "Oh no you don't!" I yelled. But he did, and he tracked litter across my clean, wet floor. This happened twice before I put the litter box back out the back door. Battle: Won. Or so I thought.
As any cat owner knows, where there is a bed in the process of being made, there is a cat. And tonight, that cat was, again, Rufus. As I hooked the sheet on the corners of the mattress, Rufus darted under the sheet. I attempted to shoo him out, but he went further under. As I dove across the bed to nab my pesky cat I overestimated my pouncing ability and went right over the side of the bed. I seem to be getting pretty good at this stunt-woman thing. I'd give that back flip a 10.
