The Misadventures of a Defective Paramedic

The Speech, Unveiled

In my last post, I promised, or at least indicated that I might, post The Speech. The first speech, the one about Indymojo.Com. My fan has clamored for the video, so being the brave soul that I am, here it is. I haven't watched it, and probably never will. I find it really weird to watch myself on video and I hate the way my voice sounds (does this mean everyone does?). Maybe if I get hyped up on a load of margaritas I'll give it a whirl, but that's not likely. Me watching it, I mean. The margaritas are very likely. On the topic of margaritas, I have hit upon the recipe for the best margarita in existence, Chili's Presidente Margarita. 1 & 1/4 oz  Sauza Commemorativo Tequila. 1/2 oz. Prezidente Brandy. 1/2 oz. Cointreau. 3 oz. sour mix. 1/8 to 1/4 oz Lime juice. I lean towards 1/4 oz. The brands are key to truly replicating this margarita. don't scrimp and use swill, you'll be sorely disappointed but still drunk. I guess it's about priorities. So, now that I've completely derailed this post, without further adieu, here's the speech.

Speech, speech!

So I had to give my first speech in my presentational speaking class (Com 114, if anyone cares)(and what the hay happened to good old fashioned "speech?"). The speech was an informative speech and had to be on a service in the community. I stretched those perimeters a bit and chose IndyMojo.Com as the topic of my speech. Research was a snap and I was soon well on my way to a decent outline. Apparently that was the easy part. Now I had to make up note cards ( Three is the ideal for maximum speech performance). I ended up with five, but I write big. Yeah. I write big. Huge, in fact.

After the note cards were complete it was time to practice. I had a wide variety of audiences to chose from (For those that don't know, I live with my parents who have custody of my 18 month old niece, four cats, and a black lab). I immediately excluded my parents. I wouldn't want to practice on real, conscious humans, would I? My first audience included my cat Stinky and my parents' big black tuxedo cat, Rowdy. Apparently my speech was boring. They were attentive for the intro and thesis statement, but quickly digressed to yawning and licking their butts. I hope to Dog that no one in my class does that. The clincher brought their attention back to me, but reviews were poor.

My time was well over the allotted five minutes so I needed to work on speeding things up. I needed an audience with a short attention span. I chose the resident canine, Lulu. She was attentive for most of the speech, ears cocked, but then started sniffing at my feet. Eventually the sniffing turned to gnawing and soon she was pawing at me, waiting for a treat. She had been a good dog, after all. This morphed into jumping and biting my arms. It was good motivation for a fast delivery, though. Note to self: Bring dog biscuits to class.

My third audience was my niece, Olivia. She had a cold, so she responded primarily by allowing snot to run down her face. Snot makes me gag so the delivery was speedy. She did, however, smile throughout the speech.

In the end, the speech went well. It was a little awkward delivering the speech to a group that is more intelligent than a black lab, but at least no one bit my arm. My instructor recorded the speeches. So if I'm feeling brave, I'll post it when I get my hands on it.

  

Stinky. He's really that adorable.
 

Lulu. She'll eat your hand off if you take her duck.
 

Rowdy. He's not so Rowdy.

Olivia is much older now. Don't ask me why I don't have current pictures of my niece but the cats' pictures were taken this week.